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Phrases your mother says when you go on a trip, foolish!

Because mother there is only one, but it spreads a lot

Because mother there is only one, but it spreads a lot © Getty Images

You have spent your life listening to "Do you think this is a hotel?" But when you decide to go to one for real, your mother does not finish seeing it at all clear either… Because mother there is only one, but it spreads a lot.

1. Umbilical cord short circuit. "But what have you missed two weeks in that place?" (read the italics with singular spite). It was already painful for you to emancipate yourself but this already goes from brown to dark.

2. "You are going to kill me upset." Aspavientos proportional to the inability to place the aforementioned country on a map.

3. Geopolitical clairvoyance. The world is divided between the countries of the European Union "really" (about 7) and the rest of the planet. Between them there is a border of igneous fire that indicates danger of death and destruction.

4. "Neither interrail nor interraol". And there is not more to talk.

5. He prepares a medicine cabinet that could supply half a Red Cross in Africa ...

6 ... in which there is no lack of (providential) vial of merchromine dry edge and doubtful expiration, which you already imagine spilled all over the suitcase, as a happy prop of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Mother there is only one ... but there is a lot of barbarity © D.R. / New York Stories

7. Your hourly uses (without h). You will think that that tenacious vibration is another phase of your REM dream, finally aborted on the other side of the planet. But no: It's your mother calling you after eating, which is the time that comes best before talking to your aunt.

8. For the eighth time before leaving through the door (and perhaps by telephone): "Do you carry the tickets?". And explain again about the mobile application ...

9. "But how many vacations do you have?"

10. "Close the suitcase with a padlock!" That sinvivir that causes him to think that all the narcos of the continent are queuing to put drugs in your luggage. Sources handled in his argument: report of Weekly report, year 98.

There are suitcases with which you better not cross ... © D.R.

11. "Give me the phone number of your travel companions. I will only call you if there is an emergency".

12. Failure of the SAR. Devastating term undefined urgency, which should not include, under any circumstances, situations such as not being connected to the WhatsApp due to lack of Wi-Fi for an hour and a half.

13. The Classic. "Wrap up", also by message. You can already be in the Tropic by sweating water tripping, which you will not get rid of the phrase.

14. Wherever you go, you will reach a distant inner echo that, as a Freudian unconscious, will insist that It is better to pay 25 euros more for sleeping in a bed with ironed sheets.

15. "Be careful with those people (again, bleeding italic) ". In a broad sense, very broad. It is the variant of "do not talk to strangers" for over 18 years.

16. Butterfly effect in DANGER version. That there is an earthquake in Chile is a reason to acribille to calls in Berlin to see if you're ok. You never know.

"Aren't you eating well?" © D.R.

17. "Are you eating well?" or the inability to conceive another table that is not yours with food compartmentalized on plates.

18. "Naive!" If he asks you to send him photos, it is not to see that bucolic lake, but to verify, with a mother's eye, and even without close-up glasses, what are you losing weight and that you should return home as soon as possible.

19. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do". Which includes going out the door.

20. Spanish mother in panic? Laugh at Putin on a movidito day. If you do not want to provoke an international crisis that involves the Foreign Ministry, NATO and the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, give signs of life from time to time.

21. "Your cousin marries in March". Come or not, a laconic WhatsApp will fall like that, in which you will know how to read, even if I don't put it: and you out there doing the fool.

Don't do anything that I wouldn't do, is that clear? © D.R.

Video: Bill Engvall - Stupid People Here's Your Sign (March 2020).

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